How Can I Control the Costs of My Divorce?
September 20, 2014

Once the difficult decision has been made to get divorced, the next biggest concern is usually how much it will cost.  As you may already be reeling from the emotional costs of the loss of your marriage, the added stress and anxiety associated with the potential or real loss of financial stability may be close behind. Here are a few considerations to keep in mind as you navigate your divorce that directly impact the cost of your divorce.

1. Mitigate Conflict. This is the first and most important way to keep your divorce costs down. While there has most likely been conflict in your marriage leading you to divorce, do your best to manage your emotions outside of the negotiation. A Divorce Coach can be instrumental in helping you navigate the emotional minefield of divorce and guide you to a safer space from which you can make better decisions for yourself. There is a direct correlation between agreement and divorce costs.
2. Consider Alternative Dispute Resolution Models such as Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. Litigation, being the highest conflict process, is typically also the most expensive.
3. Don’t be afraid to use Specialists. Their fees are generally lower than attorney fees, and each professional can do what he or she does best. Remember your Attorney specializes in the law. CDFA’s specialize in financial matters, and a Divorce Coach can help you communicate effectively in your negotiation, while managing your emotions.  Child Specialists can help you and your spouse get on the same page to make decisions involving the children. 
4. Try to keep an open mind. Remember that your idea of “Fair” may not be the same as your spouse. If you are anchored to a particular outcome, it may take longer to come to a resolution, therefore more expensive. Time is Money.
5. Understand your attorney’s billable hour and use their time wisely. A few phone calls can add up quickly. Email as much as possible to communicate with your attorney. This allows them to answer your questions when they are not distracted by other issues, minimizing their down time and your bill.
6. Financial preparation is critical. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can help you gather and organize your assets and debts as well as your income and expenses. Accurate information expedites the process reducing costs. Again, in the Litigation model, formal discovery such as subpoenas and depositions are often the most lengthy and costly parts of a divorce.
7. Remember the law of diminishing returns. Sometimes it just isn’t worth spending thousands of dollars in fees fighting over something small. Make sure the Benefit is worth the Cost.
8. Finally, Mind your credit. Retail therapy is common after divorce. Don’t do it. If you have to, you should avoid putting charges on credit and make sure you pay all of your bills on time. You will need a good credit score to start fresh after the divorce.

Susannah Malek is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) in San Rafael. 

photo credit: Ann Buscho, Ph.D.